Why do parents think smacking their children is the best way for the children to learn from their mistakes?

Question

I find parents who smack their children think its good but how do they figure that when its wrong. Yes children can become annoying but that dont mean you smack them you just find another way from smacking.

Answer 1

I was never smacked when I was little and I turned out fine (in most people's opinions, anyway.) I agree. All it seems to do is show kids that it's okay to hit other people and that it's okay to hurt someone to get them to do what you want. People who are abused as children often grow up to be abused or abuse as adults.



I'm not saying all kids who are hit turn out to be messed up or that all parents who hit their kids are terrible parents, but there are better ways of disclipining children (I HATED time-outs--those worked.)

Answer 2

This issue about smacking is very annoying. What people need to do is look back over time and look at the present as far as crimes, ill manners and disrepect is concerned. When i was a child along with my siblings, we were all smacked bar one. I along with 2 siblings are the most polite and respectful law abiding citizens. My children are the same are the same and now my grandson knows what is right and what is wrong. And that is not just by say "oh please stop it jeremy... you will hurt yourself' for the upteenth time. It was a sturn look, enough to know that the next move wouldnt be a pleasant one. When this stupid government brought in the law that if a child gets smacked it can report you to the authorities, then came the attitudes, bad behaviour and disrespect of young people most of which are now adults. Look at the state of the country. Kids telling parents they dont want this and that and you cant tell them when to come in or go out, or clean their room. In my day what our parents said was law and there was no room for argument of any sort. Try telling you kids that now, they'd tell you where to get off. A smack in moderation is fine especially if you're trying to stop that child putting its hand in a fire. No amount of "please dont do that jenny" would make any difference.

Answer 3

If there's one thing that kids need for their development, it's

boundaries. Most of the problems we are experiencing today with young people are as a result of never having the line drawn between acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. A smack can very clearly define that line. It is not the only tool available to parents, but it is a very valuable one, which should not be taken away from them.

I'm not talking about beatings here , or parents venting their anger or frustration on people who are smaller and weaker- those things are wrong. But there is a World of difference between that and a quick sharp smack on the bum, when a child crosses the line. Kids are ultimately far happier knowing exactly where their baoundaries are. If you can acheive this without smacking or yelling- ever, well good for you, but don't believe that parents who use this tool are monsters or wrong.

Answer 4

It depends on your pov, i was smacked as a child by my mother, and i have become a well rounded, honest person, with no hang ups or problems. I follow my mothers general guidelines for smacking my child, never in anger, never without a reason, and if it doesnt work the first time, find another discipline to use. If anyone would like to suggest that my child will grow up with issues, violence and will become a violent criminal, which is what is being suggested lately in the media, and by 'experts', well, you dont know me or my children, so how can you judge what my children will become. I love my children, and i know the difference between a smack on the bottom for unacceptable behaviour, and belting my child for no particular reason. Yes, some people might have problems distinguishing the difference, so their children suffer, but mine dont, so dont judge me based on the other half. How you choose to raise your children is up to you, but how would you feel if i told you what you are doing is wrong and your child will grow up with a lack of morals due to your forms of punishment. I wont tell you that however, because i personally believe that what your children become is not because of the form of punishment you use, but how you teach them to respect themselves and others. A person who was raised using other forms of punishment can still grow up into a dispossessed, rude, disrespectful, self absorbed individual, if the good lessons arent taught as well as the bad lessons. Punishment isnt the be all and end all of raising children, in fact, its only the smallest part of raising kids.



How i punish my children isnt anyone elses business, nor is the way anyone else raises their children, unless it is truly abusive, neglectful and wrong morally. Any form of punishment can be an abuse, even the most PC form available, eg time out can be taken to extremes, i know i wouldnt like to be locked in a room for hours. With every form of punishment, there is a line that can be crossed to make it abuse, and i really mean every form, just think about it.

Answer 5

If a few more kids got the occasional smack when they crossed the line of reasonable behaviour many could avoid falling into to crime/drugs and anti-social behaviour etc later in life.

The quick smack as a shock to stop dangerous behaviour is more effective than trying to reason with a child sometimes.

If you touch something hot you burn your fingers and as a result try to avoid doing it again, a smack has the same effect.

I would never agree to beating a child but one quick smack I think, as a parent, is far more preferable than using mind games on kids and probably does less damage.

One thing I found with my kids (they are grown up now) is that I only had to smack them once or twice in their entire childhood and I believe that is because they learnt just how far they could push things and learnt to recognise when I/we were serious when they were told not to do something.

Real life can be tough and we seem to try to protect our children from learning about it and I think that is a big mistake.

Answer 6

I think that in some points, smacking or spanking goes too far and gets abusive, but physical discipline is the best discipline at that age. Do you really think a 4 year old is going to remember a 5 minute time out, or a smack on the butt, when he is thinking about doing something bad again? And as a kid, I did hate getting spanked. But I did learn after the first smack, and thats where I dont understand your reasoning. Cause after you get spanked, every time you think about getting in a fight with your little brother, you remember that spanking. And yes, if an adult does something wrong, we dont smack them physically. But if you are an adult and you dont pay your bills, they take your house and car away. If you murder, you get a timeout for the rest of your life.

Answer 7

Obviously, smacking is not the best form of punishment by a long shot, but it gets a point across in an emergency situation, say your child is going beat another kid with the toy in his hand. Some children honestly don't respond to verbal punishment. Not every child will stand there and actually listen when you are trying to say, "Now, Tommy/Sally, that wasn't a very nice thing to do, running in to the street/beating your brother/sister, we need to remember the rules...." That long winded "punishment" is doing nothing and is worse irresponsible parenting than getting your point across with a quick smack and then it's done. Bore them to death or make them listen real quick. Which way are you going to go when you want to get your kid to listen?

Answer 8

Smacking a child is form of punishment,when the child is unruly or acting out,all children need this from time to time.If more ppl would smack their children the world would be a better place today.So parents keep smacking those kids.

Answer 9

sound like you have a problem with parent being a parent to their children. I guess you're one agree to non discipline, punishment nor any form of reprimand when a child/ren get out of hand. Maybe you're one who agree to put parents in jail if they punish their child/ren when that show they butt in a store or when the parent tell the child to stop and the child act like they don't hear them and continue being rudely.



Well, If you open up your eyes and look around you and see how the kids are today is a damn shame. They don't respect adults nor their parents, they talk back, cruse at their parents and fight their parents. They're running the streets at night, into drugs, dropping out of school, making babies and not taking care of them. The jail is over crowded with undisciplined people now.



so what is your solution to this maddness? forget time out, heck that don't even work. Do you think they're playing some form of sports? l really would like to know what is your answer to your own question.

Answer 10

I agree with Tilly. I know that my Mom used to pop me in the mouth or smack me on the butt and I have turned out just fine. I think it is ok to use it as a tactic to scare the child but not to do it harm. Being the receiver of a smack makes you realize real fast what not to ever do again. I think more kids need to be disciplined , that way their wouldn't be so many screaming brats in stores and restaurants. I don't believe in abuse but discipline is not abuse!

Answer 11

its people like you that need to mind their own business. i am a mother of 3 very loud, boisterous boys and they can become so hysterical a quick smack on the bum will snap them out of it. i am tired of hearing all you newage mums be so rightouse about how perfect you are as a mother. why do people like you feel you have to give mums a hard time when you have no idea what makes up the dynamics our families. i put you in the same catergory as the breastfeeding nazis and the bible bashers. or start a new campaign like fighting the ever increasing obeisity epidemic. go home and live your own life.

Answer 12

My parents "smacked" me when I was a kid and misbehaved...it worked. May I ask you, Why do some parents think that just saying "no, no now...don't do that" is an effective way of disciplining a child??? Hello, parents like this are why we have so many disobedient teenagers and bratty toddlers.

Answer 13

I reckon parents smack their kids for these reasons; they are unable to communicate properly with their children, they mustnt get much respect from their kids in order to lash out in the first place, they may have been smacked as kids themselves and so have passed the unfortunate punishment on, they generally have short attention spans & get angry easily and/or havent yet worked out that you can still punish a child with firm words as opposed to using your hand. Im with you on this one, smacking is indeed wrong, you cant justify violence, I think parents with this 'problem' should perhaps consider anger management or seek professional advice on how to discipline your kids the 'proper way'.

If youre a smart parent, than you should not promote violence!

Answer 14

I find that smacking helps in most cases. When I was younger (oh so long ago) I stole something from a shop, my mum laid it on me with a slipper and I never stole again, the beating was a reminder of what would happen if I did!! I've done the same thing with my son when he stole and when he swore, when he was 4 years old. He now knows that its a no-no for bad language and Ive heard no filth from his mouth since (he's 6 now).So I think smaking helps.

Answer 15

I suppose it's a definite way of showing them what's right and what's wrong. I don't know whether i would be able to smack my own child though.

Answer 16

It`s a good way to reprimand them at the time of the mistake or event. If a kid runs into the road or plays you up when you`re out, it`s no good punishing them with something later. Punish at the time, then they know what it`s for. A smack doesn`t have to amount to abuse.

Answer 17

So what else is a parent to do when the child just continues shouting at the parent because they cant get there own way? just give them their own way to shut them up?

No you tell them they cant have their own way

If a child is naughty you dont just not shout at them - thats letting them get away with it

when my little boy does something naughty, he gets told it is naughty, if he carries on doing it, he gets a slap! not a smack!! i would never hit my child hard!!! just a simple tap!

have you got children?

they figure out its wrong from you telling them its naughty and tapping them, they will think if i do that mummy/daddy will tell me off/give me a tap so i best not do it!!

Answer 18

My mum and dad smacked me when I was young and it did me no harm, it taught me right from wrong anyway. There is a difference between a smack and beating the child to within an inch of its life and there are much crueler mental punishments which will scar a child for life believe me.

Answer 19

SPARE THE ROD SPOIL THE CHILD.....BIBLICAL.... I got my butt tore up as a child and and if never hurt me, actually I prob...needed alot more than what I got.... I have worked in Daycare for 5 years and they always say TIME OUT, TIME OUT....Well that crap is for the Birds....IT DON"T WORK...I am now a mother of a 3 year old and 8 month old...and belive me my 3 year old gets his butt tore up if he don't mind, spanking a child does not hurt them, it helps them to learn concenquences to there actions.... I LOVE MY CHILDREN Very much, But I also know it's my job to teach them right from wrong...

Answer 20

oh my goodness...people dont just sit there and smack their kids just to do it...i dont see harm in it, as long as your not beating the ish outta your kids..i smack my daughter on occasion, not in the face or anything...only when she is really bad, and she isnt an abused child, neither was i, i got smacked

Answer 21

well...in all fairness it works.....it may not be the most respected way of discapline....but it does work....well, as long as you dont start beatin the kid....there is a clear differnce between that.



i can tell you havent had any children, because bringin up a kid is hard work....its not as easy as 'find another way'. you need to set up rules and consequences in order to help your children respect others.....ever wondered why british teenagers have highest pregnancy rate...and they are stereotyped as misbehaving yobs....they dont have respect...centering around poor disapline...they arent afraid!



im not saying beat your child...but i do think that some parents are justified.(just my opinion anyway)

Answer 22

i was smacked, n it neva did me any harm. did me the world of good! it made me learn bloody quick what was gd n bad. i'd only get a smack when i did summat REALLY bad, or when i tried to hit my bro or sis. a kinda, how'd u like it thing.

Answer 23

wen ur in the heat of the moment its frustration. do u have kids of ur own u mght understand how frustratin it is. but im not sayin its rite 2 beat kids but i think a lil smack is ok

Answer 24

I was spanked and turned out great. My baby brother was never spanked and turned out to be the family meth head. So if my daughter is acting up and has been warrned and still acts up then she gets spanked. If you don't like it then don't watch it.

Answer 25

Some people don't know the difference between discipline and punishment. I feel very sorry for the child who gets smacked or yelled at. We all make mistake parenting, but making it a regular routine to become so outraged that you have to become physical, makes a child who cannot control their actions also.

Answer 26

IT GOES WAY BACK WHEN....

AND THEN THEY SAW THEY DID..

IS RIGHT NO......BUT THERE PARENTS DID IT...

SO THEY THINK IT IS RIGHT..

THE THING I SEE TODAY PEOPLE DON'T COMMNICATE

ENOUGH...BANG BANG..EXCUSE LARGE TYPE BETTER

FOR ME TO SEE.. NO OFFENSE.

IF WE DON'T CHANGE,THE WAY THEY WERE. WHO WILL?

I DID MY KIDS ARE GREAT, PURE COMMNICATION

YELL,SCREAM BUT NOTHING TO HIT....

PEOPLE NEED TO LOOK AND GET THERE STUPIDNESS OUT ON SOMETHING ELSE..

BEST

Answer 27

Most parents do this because they feel if they do this it will hurt the child making them not want to do it anymore.But it doesn't always work because after a while it doesnt hurt anymore.

Answer 28

bring back the cane