why would my husband not stand up for me to his ex wife?

Question

my husband left his wife(not for me) 6yrs ago because she was a controlling b-tch.now 6yrs later shes still calling the shots.plus she hates me and makes my life hell.she makes it very clear she will do what ever it takes to keep me from developing a relationship with their 8yr old son.my husband allows this because he does not want to make waves with her for his sons sake.does this make sence?is there anyone else out there with this problem?

Answer 1

I don't think your husband's attitude makes sense- he is just using the "for the kids' sake" line as an excuse to not confront her. Not that I don't sympathise with his position here, but as a child of divorced parents I feel that most things done "for our sake" didn't do anything for us, they were just our parents backing away from making hard choices. He needs to stand up to her, and all parties need to accept that the son has a relationship with all three of you.



However, putting the pressure on your husband to stand up for you might backfire - because he might feel even more beaten down and attacked from all sides. What he needs is more confidence and faith in himself, and you as his wife can help him build that. Good luck!

Answer 2

If your husband has joint custody . He should have the boy equal amount of time his exwife does. Make your self shine in the boy's eyes during the time you and your husband have him. His 8 year old son will know the difference whether you care for him or not. It is your actions that is going to make the difference

My son and his second wife went through the same thing with his daughter. His daughter is will be 7 in June . At first she was all mama and with mom's help would not be nice or come near the second wife.

The second won her over so much that she will tell you right out she is daddy's girl and mama amy's. She did by showing her she realley card for her.

Answer 3

LOL ,I have two ex wife's .I hate to say this I may be wrong but he still loves her and she still loves him .Don't get me wrong not in the way you two love each other like in bed or trying to build a life more like a brother and sister thing . After all they did have a life together and you new that when you married the guy. You know that certain bond you have with your husband that you really cant explain well he has one with you and her and it will never die .If you divorce your husband and get married again you will have one with your new husband and the old one and that will never die. Best i can tell you is good luck and try to be understanding. Another thing if she doesn't wont you to be part of the kids life then have your own

Answer 4

Okay first of all, your relationship with your husband has nothing to do with her. Secondly, he unfortunately has to have something to do with her cuz a child is involved. Thirdly, she doesn't like you because she is jealous that someone she had a relationship with has moved on. Fourthly if you bad mouth her, it will cause you more trouble (so do not say things like she is a b....) because this will make the son have issues with whom he should side with (mom or dad). I do think everyone needs to be civil. Nobody has to like anyone but you need to be civil to everyone for the sake of the child.

Answer 5

Thats me, I have a 12 yr old stepdaughter, except the x does call the shots, however she doesn't have a problem with me bonding with her daughter. The problem comes from his mom. She is constantly undermining me and what i tell her to do and not do. You have to keep trying and try not to let her get under your skin. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 6

Get a divorce now before you bring kids and more misery into it. You've done this for six years? Why? Are you waiting to have kids and for the police to get involved because of domestic violence?

Answer 7

Only thing that comes to mind is an old biblical phrase



"as ye sow.. so shall you reap" Or "what goes around, comes around"