Help ! Expecting Our Fourth Child!!?

Question

My wife is expecting our fourth child!! I have NOT been working for 3 years, because I can not find a job in my profession, and she only works part time so she is supporting all of us, and it's really hard. We have talked about finances and hardships but she does not care and still wants this many children...... Help is she really all there? We have talked about this. We are both professionals with masters degrees............

Answer 1

Where are all these women that are willing to support men for years on end?



You need to stop looking for a job in your 'pay grade' and just find a job and/or jobs to start supporting your family.



I have always done whatever I had to do in the way of jobs to support my family. On one period of unemployment I worked 4 part-time jobs at the same time. Two were working 4 hours a day, 5 days a week, one job working 12AM to 6AM, and one working on weekends. I worked a job for 4 hrs a day (7AM-11AM) running a mold machine that made little plastic parts, another was 4 hours (12PM - 4PM) in a cheese plant un-crating huge blocks of cheese for the second shift production. I would then go home, shower then sleep until 11PM. I then returned to the cheese plant to work for the contract cleaning crew from 12AM - 6AM. The last job was working for a plumber on weekends. Sometimes he called during the week when I was sleeping for help on an emergency. I worked like this for 2 years and 3 months until I found a job in my 'pay grade'.



Did I consider the work beneath my, so called, pay grade? You better believe it!



Did I get tired? Heck yeah!



Did I question my sanity sometimes? Yup!



Did I ever want to quit? Yes.



Did I? Nope. It was what I had to do to take care of my family.



Did this strain my relationship with my children? Oh yeah!! But hey, it's my job to be a parent and provide for my family, not be my kids best friend.



You made a choice to marry and have a family. You never should have made that choice if you are above doing jobs below your 'pay grade'. You now have a responsibility to do whatever it takes to provide for your family. That baby didn't ask to be born but deserves a father that will do whatever it takes to provide for it.



No work is beneath you as long as it is honest work and you give your all to performing it.



It's time to 'MAN-UP'!!!!!

Answer 2

First of all obviously you are both well educated and intelligent people - Your intellect will tell you one thing. BUT this is not a question of logic - it is a matter of the heart. I would recommend that you do seek counseling because it sounds like you are both going through a lot of stress and are not on the same page. I am not sure where you are in the country but you can find the answer for the financial troubles and relationship troubles in one location... at a good church... many have free counseling and financial aid programs - and even connections to possibly help you find work...



Here's some good links:



1. http://harvest.org/knowgod/

2.http://www.calvarychapelcostamesa.com/contact - prayer request

3.http://www.calvarychapel.com/find_a_church.cfm - to find a church near you



I know you are probably thinking... I need financial help not religion... That's not what I am talking about... I can tell you from personal experience - I do not have a masters but I do have a double major bachelors of Science in Marine Transportation/ Logistics and Mechanical engineering - full ride scholarship. AND.. I too have been impacted financially by this recession. My income went from triple digits to maybe 40k this year...We are going to lose our house probably and I may be pregnant... which will for sure mean we will lose the house... Despite this my husband and I are closer than ever and we are ok if we end up losing the house... yes it will be hard but we are confident that it just means we will move someplace else.. The only reason we can say this is because of the peace of God... John 3:16.



Get some help outside yourself because trying to solve the problems you have in your own strength will not work...



Lastly... don't let this tear you apart. Pull together as a family and promise each other you will do what ever it takes to make it through together... If that means doing things you have never done, going outside your comfort zone do it... Believe me we were on the edge... but now we are more in love than ever and there is NOTHING on this planet that can match that... You can do it.. take that stand and fight for your family. You sir will not regret it...

Answer 3

For as long as there has been families and as long as there has been children...there have always been financial woes. That means somehow you always get through it and one day when you look back you will be so proud of your grown family. I raised 5 and when everyone questioned the future (who doesn't??) all 5 went on to college, married great spouses, have good jobs and some even have kids of their own . And the cycle repeats itself.



The last one (you know, the one they call the "love child") just married last year and is expecting and I am so proud of her...she was with me the longest and paid her way through college and worked the entire time and was the one to keep me on my toes, in touch with life and kept me young! :D



Keep up your job search ...maybe even taking a job that's not "perfect", but "Must is a good master">>>>meaning sometimes we just gotta do what we gotta do to survive and it teaches us how to learn new things. Consider yourself blessed...be a team...do anything to bring in some income. It's easier to GET a job when you HAVE a job.....you never know what doors of opportunity will open if you at least don't get out there and do SOMETHING.



God helps those who help themselves. Do your family proud....you are their role model, never forget that. How you handle situations is what they're noticing. You can do it. You may be a "professional" and you may have the "masters" but you are FIRST a husband and father. Best of luck for a happier future....papa :D.

Answer 4

I understand we have three children and my husband is the only one working now. I have not had a job in almost a year and have been searching and searching. We also want a fourth child to complete our family. Nothing is wrong with her maybe she just wants one last child to complete her family. She should have talked to you about it first and/or you both should have used protection so this would not have happened. It takes two to tango. On the bright side you will have another bundle of joy and God will only give you what you can handle. Good Luck!

Answer 5

i think you really need to find a job. you need to become a man....you cant find a job (in your pretty lil profession for the past 3 years)? seriously what is wrong with you? your poor wife and 3 kids. i feel abd for them. go get a job at burgerking. atleast its something!