I want a baby but I am 16?

Question

Before you judge, I know this sounds daft. But please hear me out. I have actually thought about this for a long time. This is not an immature decision or a stunt to get on television or get attention.

I've always felt like people I love (including family) leave me. I am getting to the point where I cannot take this anymore. I have this love for children. I just love babies to death. They make me so happy. I look at all these mothers with their children and see them being irresistibly in love with them. I want that. I want something to depend on me and my love. I want someone to love me unconditionally whilst I have someone else to focus on and give me further motivation into completing my studies as I only want a good paying job so I can raise my own family. I also believe that this child will give me a further insight into life and its responsibilities and it will help me to become a better person.

My current boyfriend and I have a bit of a worry that I have gotten pregnant on my contraceptive rod. If so, great. If not, great, also. I believe that he is the one I would like to be the father of my baby anyway since he is the most kind hearted man I know, and I love him.

I know that getting pregnant and having a child at 16 is highly frowned upon because the "young mums" cannot financially support the child. My boyfriend is in the military and gets paid very well. I am also a writer and plan to write a best selling novel in order to look after the child. I also want to finish schooling and go to university where I know I can still have my child.

Thoughts on this? Opinions? Reality of this? Please answer with whatever. Please no rude comments on my immaturity as I know I am extremely mature for my age within my way of thinking.
Thank you :)

Answer 1

I admire that you thought about this before posting the question.

I personally think you should wait though. I love babies too, and want to have lots of kids one day. But not yet, because I know kids are expensive and I don't want to just 'get by' I want to be able to buy my kids a new bike and for them to go to a good school. So for that to happen I need to focus on my education and career for a few more years and then when I've got a secure income, I can seriously think about having kids.

Also you're only 16, and even though you could be with your current boyfriend forever, you also might not be, and you don't want you baby not to have a father (or to have their parents together). My parents are divorced and as a kid it was horrible and now I just have lots of commintment issues.



But all in all, I can't tell you what to do- but I hope you appreciate my opinion and advice :)

I hope you make the right decision for you and you future family, best of luck.

Answer 2

Don't have a baby right now. There is no way you can financially support one. Virtually all sixteen year olds still depend on their parents financially, and the best job you could get is some part-time, minimum wage job. And there is no guarantee that you would even be able to get your book published, let alone for it to become a #1 best seller (it's hard these days to even get them published. my mom, who IS a good writer, submitted several children's books and none of them were ever chosen to be published). You really aren't being realistic here. You at least would need to research the costs of a baby before doing this. You do have an older boyfriend who is in the military, and I'm not really sure exactly how much they get paid. BUT, even if you could technically afford it with his salary, it's still just a bad idea. Very few people actually find the love of their life at 16, so honestly there is a fairly good chance that you and your boyfriend are not going to stay together for the rest of your lives, and will break up at some point. You really need to find the right person before settling down and having a baby. And, you're just gushing about how much you love babies, but you didn't really say anything about actually wanting to be stuck raising a child for the next 18 years. It would not just stay a cute little baby forever. In just a couple years, it will turn into a toddler that's going to scream, throw tantrums, defy you, and be getting into everything! And even when they are little babies, it's still not all fun and games because they are still A LOT of work, and they'll cry and keep you up at night (which is especially hard when you have to go to school in the morning!). Please at least finish high school before you have a baby. It is very very hard to juggle your schoolwork with a baby, plus it means you can't give your child as much attention.

Answer 3

First, I would strongly recommend getting a real job before getting pregnant. Yes you want to be a writer, but honestly, there are thousands of writers who are working as waitresses, grocery store clerks, cashiers, etc to make ends meet because they will never sell a best selling novel.



If you won 10,000 dollars, then start saving and possibly even investing. I doubt that you won 10,000 dollars, but who knows.



The fact that you think the people you love always leaves you should not be a factor in why you have a baby. Having a baby does not mean your boyfriend won't break up with you later on. Having a baby does not mean the child will not want to leave you later on. It's not going to be a friend. It's a child.



Also, how much support will you have if something happens to your boyfriend? Will you be able to raise a child on your own? Do you know how much children cost? Do you even pay for your own stuff?

Answer 4

Having a baby at that age, schooling is going to be a terrible and very difficult experience.



How will you get money to support this child if you're paying thousands for schooling?



You say this isn't an immature decision but you're thinking of bringing a child into the world based on your self esteem and your selfish desires.



Do you understand how hard it is to raise a child? Yeah, it's yours and they love you.. But going to school while raising a child is near impossible, also writing a successful Novel isn't just something that happens.



You don't know for a fact if your boyfriend and you will be together forever.

Military income is NOT a lot.

Especially not enough to support you, this baby, and your schooling.



If you had a baby, you can honestly say goodbye to writing until they are teenagers..



Understand, that you have a high risk of ruining this kids life, while also destroying your own.

You will be giving up whatever childhood you have left and be forced into adulthood.



You probably won't be able to go to school or to achieve your dreams.. It's not impossible but damn sure harder.



This Is a very irresponsible idea.

Wait until YOU can support yourself.

Not your parents.

Not your boyfriend.



Once you can support yourself ALONE completely; a job, house/apartment, transportation etc

And you've grown up some more.. Then you should have a kid.





Having a kid at 16 is a very idiotic idea and a selfish one at that.

Answer 5

Listen Lauren, being a teenage mother is not easy. You sound as if you have thought this all out - which is great. However, you must remember that things WILL NOT always go as planned. Sure, maybe you do want a child, but having a child is not all fun and games. Take it from me. I am not a teenage mother, but I did practically raise my little sister since I was 5. If you loves kids so much, go volunteer at the orphanage or group home. Or even the hospital, they need people to spend time with the babies there. Often because their mothers abandon them and they need some sort of human interaction as well as someone to bond with. Please take into consideration that maybe your boyfriend will change his mind. Do not say," oh he loves me he won't back out". It CAN happen, whether you want it to or not. You are only 16, live your life. Finish your education and prepare yourself for a baby. You may think you are ready, but trust and believe me when I say you're not. And even if you are, what happens when your plans to pan out well? What if your best selling book doesn't even sell? Then what? What money will you have to raise a child, raise a family, go to school, AND take care of car insurance, medical bills ect? I wish you the best, please don't get preggos. Spend your free time volunteering like I said before; it fulfills your needs and helps someone else at the same time. Good luck.

Answer 6

You can't just write a big and automatically say its a best seller. You need to go through a long process withand it depends on whether people like it or not. With that being said. I would at least finish highschool and then have a child because having a baby by yourself because your boyfriend is in the military can be nerve wrecking and then you have to do it on your own. And the reality is that a child will NOT make you a better person but just simple experiencing life will. For the first few months all your baby will do is sleep, eat, and potty but a child can't show you "love" untill he/she is older. Just get a job first and finish school and experience life before trying to create it.

Answer 7

I'm 16, and for me, a baby would ruin my life, but that's just me. I'm not super into kids, I'd like to have a baby girl of my own in the far future with the man I marry. But right now, I'm having an awful time finding a job, and a mom at 16, yeah, your defiantly going to be frowned upon, especially if you end up a single mom. I'm not trying to dampen your spirits with your man, I'm a true believer in love, but hey, stuff happens. Unless you have a rich family, or a great job, you can most likely forget college. Children take a lot more time and effort than you think. My brother and his wife have a 6 yr old son who is a total nightmare. She was going to be a nurse, but with him she couldn't get her schooling. And now, they have low income because they are terrible with finances, and we just found out that his wife is 2 months pregnant.

You should definitely wait to have a child, there's no hurry. Get a stable career, a home, make sure all your finances are in order, then try for that child you want. Like I said I'm not a huge child person, I'm concentrated on getting a good career going before anything drastic like that happens in my life.

You said you want a stable job so you can raise your own family. It isn't impossible, but hard to do if you already have a child. At 16, yeah, your still a child yourself. You are mature, your not out there just to do it, you know what you want. But your not fully mature, your not an adult yet. I know teen moms can be better moms than adults, or others are awful and get their children taken away, like the woman who got hers taken away 2 weeks ago that lives down the street from me.

I doubt I'm any help here, but, if you want a good life for yourself and your child/children. Wait a few more years, get a stable career and a house. You'll thank yourself for it later.

Answer 8

Hey Hun,



I suggest at least finishing school and university before having a baby, the more time you get to spend with your baby the better for you and the baby!



Juggling school/ university/ a job and a baby would be very hard and you'll miss out on some important moments with a baby.



The more stable of a position you are the happier you'll be!



You can finish university in your 20's that leaves plenty of time to have a baby, fertility generally starts declining age 35+, no need to rush into anything now.



Wish you the best!

Answer 9

Lauren, i know exactly how you feel. I am 15, youngest of three daughters, living with my mother. For the past year i have been ignored a lot by my family and in times feel incredibly alone. And on top of that, i am Clucky/Broody.



Let me explain this to you. When a chicken gets clucky/Broody it is when they sit on their eggs. This is because they think its time to have chicks. This happens to humans too, and is common in teenagers. It's when your body is telling you that it's time to have a baby, and it's really hard to ignore it.



What you got to realise though that having a child is something you should wait until you are older for. Not because of financial or social/political reasons, but because it is something to work for and wait for. Something to cling onto. If you have a kid now, you will most likely stop being clucky and realise your mistake, and also turning you off having children when you are older. You should wait until you are older and can afford to give up heaps of time and love.



Also, does you boyfriend know you want a baby? i hope your not using him :P



What i suggest you do is, if you already haven't, is try moving out of home for a while and see what it's like supporting yourself, and if that doesn't work, buy a puppy. You will then see how hard it is to look after a young life :P



Hope i helped :)

Answer 10

Sweetie, I want kids, too. And even though I am the most mature person I know, I know I'm not ready to be a mom. And I'm 18. If you think you're ready, you're not. If you are pregnant, you are going to spend all your time and money focusing on your child. I'm not saying get an abortion if you are, because that's just wrong. But be prepared to have to put your dreams on hold for a little while. I have huge plans for my future, and even though I would love to have a baby, I need to get a head start on my plans first. You should do the same.

Answer 11

I am 17 and I really want a baby too. Im very mature but unfortunately lack the boyfriend part. I think people criticize young moms way to much. You cannot take care of your child better in 5 years. As long as you can financially support your child and it will be raised in a loving environment with two parents, I say knock yourself out. Why wait?

Answer 12

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Answer 13

Hun i wanted kids forever i finally had my baby at 27. It is still very difficult i am not sure what i would have done had i had one at 16. Give it some time be free and enjoy yourself while you can. Dont get me wrong i looove my kid but what i wouldnt give to take a nap when im tired cook dinner or use the bathroom with out hearing screaming. Sleeping a whole 8 hours in a row. My vag being not so tired looking. Not pissing on myself everytime i sneeze laugh cough or wait to long to go and when i move around it just kind of trickels out. Just wait for **** sakes!!

Answer 14

You should wait untill you graduate high school or college because having a baby at this age will cost you during the rest of your life. In addition, you sadness wont be over as the newborn will be raised by a single mother nobody will be there for you still. It will be so hard, you will compare life as hell.

Answer 15

u do realize that ur bf being in the military means ur baby will most likely grow up without its father physically being there sometimes right? n with u wanting to go to a university, its just not the time to have a child. neither one of u would have the time to see or really take of a child.

Answer 16

You seem mature, but baby will demand hell lot of attention and time. You wont be able to focus on anything else except the baby. So you should just wait, enjoy your teen time with your bf and have a baby when you finished a university or whatever you want to finish.

Answer 17

You re 19 now!!!! this was three years ago, do it. If you have the right money and support emotionally and physically then you can do whatever you like when it comes to having a baby :)

Answer 18

Have you thought about whether or not your boyfriend could go to prison for having sex with a 16 year old, depending on which state you live in?

Answer 19

You may think you are ready to be mom...but your arent!! Instead of having a baby look into getting a reborn baby! Google it and enjoy :)

Answer 20

Get a dog if you want something to love.