Full Legal Custody of my daughter?

Question

I had my daughter when I was 17. I know I was young and I would appreciate it if nobody judged me because I am a very good mother. My daughter is now 14 months old and ever since the day my daughter was born her father was barely there. I was always at home taking care of her and he was always gone. He hasnt graduated high school and hasnt had a job for two years. Nobody in his family helps me out financially at all. Her father had/has a pain pill addiction, smokes a lot of weed and now I hear he is taking oxy cotton pills? Im not sure if thats what they are called but thats what his sister told me. I never knew about any of this untill a couple of months ago.

He is very violent and gets in screaming fights with people in his family. I have witnessed it. I normally let him see his daughter a couple times a month but ever since I made it clear to him that we are done he has threatened me about who ive been sleeping with and a bunch of other stuff that are none of his business. I dont feel comfortable with him having her because I just recently(two days ago) found out about the oxy.
I have a full time job, my family watches my daughter while i work, and i make sure that my daugter has everything she needs to be a worry free happy little girl. He called me demanding that he has his daughter and I want to take him to court for full custody because she is not safe with him! I need advice on what to do and how to go about this. I cant really afford a lawyer but I HAVE to get full custody of her because its whats best for my daughter.

Answer 1

The odds are in your favour.



Keep a 'book' about when the father has contact with her, your conversations with him - and all the info you get on him via your sources (eg. on feb 20th his sister rang me and said ....) You can present this as part of your case. Keep threatening messages to show as well.



The fact you are working, building the best for you and your child future - and the fact she has been in your custody this whole time - are all in your favour.



The courts like to know both parents are involved - because even though its hard for you - your daughter has a right to know her father too.



I would present an argument of: I have had my daughter in my custody for two years, home life is stable and she is thriving hence I want full custody but with visitation rights of the father. I would say I want her to have contact with her dad, but away from me (suggest through a contact centre). A contact centre is where you take your daughter and the dad sees her in a supervised environment for a few hours and you dont have to be there - a court representative keeps watch. Give the threatening messages and drug abuse as reasons for your wish for the contact centre.



Courts will want the child to be in an environment they know is best (yours) and will like the idea that you want to work with them to ensure the father has contact with his daughter (the contact centre)

Answer 2

He has no rights over your daughter unless you have declared paternity by his signing the birth certificate or you took him to court for child support. If you take him to court for custody, you will have to establish paternity and give him rights which means he will have visitation even if you get sole custody and if you try to deny that, then you are likely to loose custody because the courts always favor the parent who is least likely to block the child from having a relationship with the child. I would leave well enough alone unless he takes you to court. If he does, tell the judge he started the custody battle because you refused to date him any longer and that you did that because of the drug history. It's unlikely you will loose your daughter if he does, but why open that can of worms if you don't need to? If you have not established paternity, and no one is helping you around you, you can just take your baby and go. It isn't considered kidnapping until paternity has been established and he has no rights until that time. One caution though, if you ever apply for any financial assistance from social services,they will ask you to tell unless you say you have reason to feel your safety or your daughter's is in danger if you do tell. I would find a way to move where he can't find you or the baby while you still can. He sounds unstable and not the kind of man who can be a good daddy or help support your child but the law won't see it that way if you take him to court and establish paternity. You will be forced to let your baby go even if he shows up higher than a kite to pick her up and will be thought of as malicious/spiteful if you keep records of it, which could endanger you having custody. Just get a job elsewhere then pack up and dissapear before he takes you to court and don't make the mistake of taking him to court yourself, although you can threaten him with child support if he threatens you with custody while you work on getting away or throw him for a loop the next time he tells you she is HIS daughter by saying: no she isn't and leave it at that, but get away. That's the only way to keep this drug addict out of your daughter's life

Answer 3

Find a good lawyer and schedule a consult with them. The first consult is always free. Most judges opt for joint custody unless there's a problem. A lawyer could tell you what your chances are of getting full custody and what steps would need to be taken.

Answer 4

Get your boys on him oi.