What's your nightly routine with toddler and infant?

Question

I have a 2 year old who will be almost 3 by the time I deliver with my 2nd in July. Just curious of how you do nightly routines, (bath, getting dressed, story, etc.) when you have a little one that will be there too. Just a note that my hubby works nights and will not be able to help in getting kids down. Any other advice on any other routines during the day that need to be done with a toddler and a little one will be also helpful too! Thanks!

Answer 1

We have a 3 year old and a 5 month old. While both parents are home in the evenings, we still have a routine to get everything done in an orderly manner. One suggestion is to get the 3 year old bathed and to bed before the infant. While this may seem counter-intuitive (i.e. you would think that the younger one should go to sleep first), it is easier to keep an eye on the infant while getting the toddler ready than vice versa because the infant is less mobile. Put the infant in a bouncer or something until you are done putting the toddler to bed. Now you can focus on getting the infant ready, and it will be much quieter when you are putting the infant to bed. It is still challenging, but it will make it manageable.

Answer 2

It's not always the easiest thing..but a pattern/stability is the absolute best thing for them. They begin to learn they can count on you to do certain things or for things to always be done. I give my kids a bath every other nite typically and I do the baths seperately. Then I always make sure I take them up to bed at the same time..then I can read a story and put them both in bed. Soon however, my daughter will be able to stay up a little later so I'm curious as to whether or not my son will be jealous about that. Typically tho he is worn out and doesn't mind going to sleep. It's definately good to let them get into the habit early of being able to fall asleep on their own in their OWN bed..it may be cute when they are young..and it may be said that you should cherish those moments. Occasionally it is fine..but I think in reality making a routine out of putting them to sleep like this only causes you more problems in the long run. My friend's daughter still has to fall asleep with her or she wakes up continuously all nite..she is now in the second grade. It can just cause many sleep disruption problems for the entire family..anyhow..good luck and congrats!

Answer 3

I stay home w/ my 1 year old daughter. I pretty much have the entire day on schedule. Her breakfast in the morning, her nap about two hours later. After her nap ( about 2 hours), then she eats lunch. The next 3-4 hours consists of her playing inside and sometimes outdoors, unless I have errands to run before my older child gets home. Then by 4:30 pm without fail, I give her dinner, bathe her and put her in bed by 5:15. Yes, she actually sleeps all night. Only thing is she gets up at 5 am too. But, I like it that way. It's so much easier on you and them when your kid knows what to expect. It took me quite a while to get a good schedule and stick with it because they can be so reluctant.

Answer 4

I thought I would share this article with you because after reading this, I realize how important "routines" really are for younger children and how important they for us mother's to make things easier for us. I hope this is as much help for you as it was for me!



Routines and Rituals



1. Routines and Rituals in Daily Life

For most of us, our lives are a series of patterns--rituals and routines we perform almost everyday. This is also very true for babies and toddlers. While we play a part in forming these patterns in their lives--whether at home or through child care, we may not fully realize the role they play in young children's development.



As we explore this next series of weekly tips on Routines and Rituals, think through those patterns that occur everyday in your child's life--and in your own. What do each of your routines and rituals mean to your child?



* Are your days very structured, or somewhat flexible?

* What do you do when it is time for your toddler to go to bed?

* Does your dinner-time have a particular pattern to it?

* Is there a special place you go with your baby on a certain day of each week?

* What other repetitive activities do you notice throughout your week?



2. Routines as Emotional Regulators

Consistent routines provide comfort for a young child. Whether it is time for a snack, a nap, play, or a loved one to return, knowing what will happen next gives babies and toddlers physiological and emotional stability. This stability and consistency allows them to feel safe and secure--trusting a caring adult to provide what they need. When they feel this sense of trust and safety, they are free to do their "work," which is to play, explore, and learn.



To Think About: Some of your child's ease with changes in routine may have to do with his temperament. How does your baby handle changes in routines emotionally?



3. Routines as a Way to Decrease Conflict

Stable routines allow babies and toddlers to anticipate what will happen next and to learn appropriate behaviors for each situation in their day. This not only gives young children confidence, but also a sense of control. It can also limit the amount of "no's" and behavior corrections you need to give a toddler throughout the day, since your child can better predict what should happen next.



To Think About: What routines do you have that have cut down on conflict? What has helped anticipating what comes next?

Also see: Tips on Confidence



4. Routines Guide Positive Behavior & Safety

Routines are like instructions--they guide steps toward a specific goal. This might be seen in how clean-up after play is done at home, or how lining up to go outside is done at daycare. Particularly in group settings, children are motivated to fit in and to imitate. This is also a helpful and important factor when it comes to safety.



Two-year-old George loves to play with his trucks in the afternoon as mom feeds baby Kira. When mom is done, it is time for them to pick up Dad at the bus stop. All the trucks have to be back in the bucket before they go. Mom signals this by saying, "It's time for the trucks to drive up the ramp and into the garage." One by one, George wheels each truck up a plank and into the bucket--complete with sound effects by both George and mom. Each day they do this, and each day George knows he'll find his trucks where he put them--back in the bucket...and mom does not have to worry about tripping on the trucks with Kira in her arms.



To Think About: Which of your routines help make for a safer day?

Also see: Tips on Goal-Directed Behavior



5. Routines Guide Social Development

As babies grow, they come into contact with more people and begin to learn patterns and routines for social interaction. Greetings, good-byes, and engaging others are examples of some routines that teach us social behaviors. These also guide how we communicate and lead children towards learning and using language.



Routines also provide opportunities to experiment with more complex social interactions and patterns. Play time, meal time, and quiet time are just a few of the routines found at home and child care. As babies mature, parents and caregivers guide them in turn-taking, sharing toys, waiting, and helping others during these routine times. Seeing other toddlers, older children, and adults practice these same patterns helps reinforce a young child's learning.



To Think About: During what parts of your day does your baby greet others? During what routines do you help your toddler take turns?

Also see: Tips on Relating to Others



6. Routines Ease Transitions for Children

Depending on your child's temperament, transitions may not be easy for your little one. Going from play to lunch, lunch to the store, the store to home...and especially transitioning to bed time, can be challenging. Even babies can need help transitioning--from sleep to wake or the other way around. Routines and rituals can provide a bridge to make transitions easier. Some parents use a timer or a "5-minute warning" to prepare their toddlers for a change in activity. Others use a book, song, or special game. Special rituals can also help transition a child from one caretaker to the next, such as this routine:



Each day, we count the steps together as we walk up to the child care center. Troy shows me his cubby for his coat and lunch. We go to the toy area where others are playing and he picks out a toy and points out a friend and tells me his name. He gives me a "butterfly kiss" and I tell him I'll get an "Eskimo kiss" when I pick him up after snack-time.



To Think About: How does your child best transition when it is time to go somewhere? when you leave him with another caregiver? when it is time for bed?

Also see: Matching Your Infant's or Toddler's Style to the Right Child Care Setting



7. Routines & Rituals Ease Transitions for Parents

Not only do routines and rituals make transitions easier for children--they also help ease adults into parenthood. The early stages of becoming a parent can be overwhelming and put a strain on marriage. Continuing a ritual from your early marriage years (like an evening out or a special vacation spot) can help. In addition, taking a special ritual from your own childhood (such as a book that was read to you, a special breakfast made for you on Saturdays) can bridge your transition from a couple to a family. New routines and rituals can also help strengthen your own new family identity, as well. In a study, couples who reported a stronger commitment and emotional investment in family rituals were more satisfied in their marital relationship when their oldest child was preschool age (Fiese, Hooker, Kotary, & Schwagler, 1993).



To Think About: What special rituals did your family have as a child? Which have you carried into your new family life?

Also see: Past Tip Series on Parenting



8. Routines and Rituals as a Basis for Learning



Daily routines are often thought of as just "maintenance" activities: meal time, running errands, getting ready for bed. But, these everyday actions are rich opportunities to support development and learning while having fun. Routines offer the chance to build self-confidence, curiosity, social skills, self-control, communication skills, and more.



Take bath time for example:



What could be more awesome than a giant puddle in a steamy, warm room, where I'm center stage and no one is allowed to interrupt us? Just you and me and my belly and my nose and my fingers and all the other parts of me that you tell me about. I can fill cups with water and dump them in the tub. And when you soap me up it feels so good. Watch me! I can rub my belly clean just the way you do. Floating boats and ducks and bubbles all make my bath time even more fun. When we're done, I love to be wrapped up in a warm towel and snuggled, and hear you tell me how sweet I smell. Hmmm. I'm something special.



A simple bath opens the doors for practicing social skills, taking turns, talking, as well as learning cause and effect, how things work, and math and science concepts like full, empty, liquid, solid, etc. It also provides a chance to build self-esteem and let your baby know she's special and capable of doing things.



Routines provide key ingredients for learning: relationships and repetition. So enjoy these ordinary moments with your child and look at them through her eyes. If she's having fun with you, she's learning, too!