Are these kids seriously delayed?

Question

so my niece and nephew were both premature. my nephew more so than my niece. my niece was only 2 weeks earlier but both were "taken" because the mother had preeclampsia. My niece is turning 1 in a few weeks and is just now starting to crawl…and she can’t even hold her own bottle! Her son is nearly 3 (will be in March) and is barely putting basic sentences together…”I want such and such”…does this seem really delayed to anyone else? Is it something the mother is or is not doing? Is it how she took care of herself during pregnancy? Is it just the luck of the draw? Any child development insight would be appreciated. Thank you!!

Answer 1

Yes they both sound delayed, but it's not because they were premature. Usually babies born premature catch up within the first year. My preemie caught up and became advanced very quickly.



Does your niece do other things? Can she babble? Can she stand up? Can she roll over? As long as she's hitting other milestones I wouldn't be too concerned with her. A lot of changes happen within the first two years and she may just not have hit the "ah ha" moment yet. Usually babies have a month where everything suddenly clicks and they learn a ton of new things at once.



As for your nephew, he does sound delayed in speech and I think it's something for your sister to be concerned about. If I were her I would do my best to work with him on a daily basis, reading and using flash cards and if I didn't see improvement I would look into a speech therapist.



The children being slightly below average has nothing to do with your sisters pregnancy at this point. It's just the luck of the draw.

Answer 2

Every child develops differently, people are WAY too overly concerned with comparisons and how their child is "measuring up" with other children. Some children don't crawl til they're a year and don't walk until they're 18 months, others are crawling before 6 months and walking by 9 months. Every baby is different, it's not a failure on the mom's part, it's just how that baby develops. My son started crawling at 9 1/2 months, but he still refuses to hold his own bottle (although he'll hold his own sippy cup and drink from it). My sister is a brilliant, intelligent woman, but she was WAY behind every major developmental milestone when she was a baby. She didn't roll over until she was like 5 months, had no interest in crawling, started walking late, talking late, etc. By the time she was school age she was developmentally the same as all of the rest of the children, and quickly began being placed into the "advanced" classes all throughout school.



As for the three year old, it's possible the mom is not reading to the child or attempting to teach her son vocabulary and simple sentences, but it's more likely that her son is just quiet and not that interested in talking.

Answer 3

Only a psychologist or psychiatrist who actually meets with the children can say if they are delayed. And there is no telling what caused the potential issues unless they are diagnosed. I don't see why you seem so nasty about it. It's none of your concern. Maybe the parents have had the children seen and just didn't share it with you. Dealing with any health issue is a personal thing.

I would know, my son was diagnosed at 3 with Asperger's Syndrome, an Autism Spectrum Disorder. I don't advertise it to the world, while I am far from ashamed. I disclose that information on a need to know basis.



edit- Okay. The fact of the matter is that there is no one here who can diagnose these kids without seeing them. And anyone who would try would not be credible. This is something that the parents have to take the lead on. And the kids may be perfectly fine. Not speaking until 3 is technically a speech delay. But it can mean nothing at all. Same goes for the crawling and bottle holding. My son has no physical disabilities or delays. At 3 he could ride a 4 wheeler better than most adults, but at 6 he still doesn't ride a bike. Every kid is different. Just like you and I have our strengths and weaknesses. As far as prompting the parents to look into this, that is a very touchy subject. My SIL is a trained professional when it comes to dealing with developmentally delayed and disabled children. While she suspected my son was "different" she waited until we brought it up. And I'm glad she did. Had she told us before we were ready to acknowledge the fact that he needed to be assessed, she would have possibly caused us to deny it or be angry with her. Or both. Which obviously wouldn't help. Also, coming to terms with the fact that your child is delayed or disabled is almost like losing a child. In that your hopes and dreams for that child change dramatically. The summer my son was diagnosed was extremely traumatic. It was filled with constant research and tears just about every day. It's a big pill to swallow. I would just trust the parents that they will take proper care of their children.

Answer 4

It might not be that they are delayed, but the way that they are parented. If a baby isn't put down on her belly alot, she will be a late crawler, or may never crawl at all. Since the "Back to Sleep" campaign began, more and more babies are crawling later or not at all. Doctors do not consider crawling a developmental milestone for this reason. As for holding her own bottle, some parents do not like to have their babies hold their own bottles and prefer to feed them in a manner similar to a nursing mother. I don't see either of the things you mentioned as a sign of a delay.



As for the 3 year old, I've seen quite a range of speech abilities, from ones who can't use sentences to those who talk like an adult. If the mother is concerned, she should mention HER concerns to the peditrician and request an evaluation.

Answer 5

It is not unusual for premature babies to take a while to catch up. I can't tell you whether the amount they are delayed is more than it should be. Your niece sounds more delayed than your nephew, and that might be because he's had the extra 2 years to catch up. In 2 years, she might be fine, too. I'm sure their pediatrician is aware and has made recommendations, if necessary.

Answer 6

No, it isn't seriously delayed. Did you even bother to check parenting books or any websites before asking this question?

Instead of gossiping behind your (sister, sister in law's) back, why not talk to her about it? Are you afraid she will say it isn't your business? Good, because it isn't.

Answer 7

has the doctor not said anything about this? i mean i know when they are preemie they usually do things slower than other but not this slow. i would ask the doc if its normal. i mean if they r learning things they mite be doing things on there own pace and that could be learning things later on in life, i wouldnt worry til you talked to a doc. goodluck